Who are we really? I don’t mean the question of us being spiritual beings or such things, I mean deep down who are we as individuals? Most of us plod along in life barely looking at who we are, except on those occasions that events conspire to make us look at ourselves momentarily.
For most of us we barely penetrate beyond the superficial depths of our conscious minds. Only when major events come in to our lives that we take the time to self introspect, although for many the opportunity for self introspection turns into the ‘poor little old me syndrome’.
I have personally been lucky, or maybe that should be unlucky depending on your point of view to have had several mental health crisis’s throughout my adult life. Every crisis taught me something different, the first crisis I had was when I was 24 and it impacted my life in many ways for several years, but I used the opportunity to consciously find out about myself.
Well, so I thought.
I read many books on various topics that were ailing me mentally, and I thought I was learning, but I wasn’t. I had identified aspects of myself that were dark in nature, and intellectually I had understood them, so I thought that I knew them, but I didn’t. As an example I had difficulty dealing with my anger, so I would read books on anger and be like “yes, that’s me, I’m angry, and I know what to do about it” In reality the understanding of my anger was superficial and shallow and my tactic for dealing with it was to treat it like a virus and suppress it.
Now, like putting a lid on boiling water, eventually the pressure builds to eventually a negative outcome is achieved. This happened to me many, many times. This resulted in recurring incidents of depression and anxiety throughout my life. Another consequence of my anger was a connected issue that is my battle with the behavioural addiction to porn.
You can read my story here.
Who Are You?
Do you know why you do the things that you do? Do you know why you say the things that you say? Most people are nothing more than physical and mental robots, they are almost predictable in their behaviour, even unpredictable people are predictable, by their sheer predictable nature of being unpredictable.
One thing I learned from all my mental health crisis’s over the years is that consciousness is like an onion, it has many, many layers and once you have peeled back a layer it is very easy to delude yourself that you have reached the core of the onion, or in the case of consciousness, the core of your being, the real you.
Real change comes from being honest, and fully understanding the causes of your actions, and this takes a very deep level of sincerity and the desire to truly accept and change who you are. This is not about self hatred, and it’s certainly not about feeling sorry for yourself either.
You need to take full responsibility for self.
Positive life-affirming change can happen very quickly if the desire for change is strong enough. Most people tend to evolve their consciousness gradually over the course of a life-time often through the bitter and painful experiences of life. Sadly though, some people never change, because they are firmly controlled by their ego and will be led to the grave never having been freed from its control.
Self introspection or as others may call it, self retrospection is the key to spiritual growth.
How To Self Introspect / Retrospect
One thing that anyone who is serious about removing dark and negative aspects from themselves should do is to write a journal. A journal can be hand written or typed on a computer etc, as a suggestion you can try this journal from Amazon.
A technique that can be beneficial is to review your day in reverse order before going to sleep at night. This process can be useful as normally this is done through our dreams, so instead our dreams can be used to show us other insights that maybe beneficial to us in our everyday lives.
When self-introspecting I have found the following questions to be useful.
- What was your mood when getting up this morning, and why?
- Were you sarcastic or rude today, if so, why and what happened?
- How many hours have you spent in useless activities today?
- Did you eat consciously and what did you eat?
- What was your mood today, and how has it impacted others?
- Have you lied, become angry or experienced envy, fear?
- Have you gossiped?
- Have you experienced lust or used pornography?
- Have you drunk alcohol or used drugs, what was the underlying desire to use these things?
These questions are just a guide as others can easily be added to help peel back the layers of your own individual ‘onion’. The process of journaling, if it is done with honesty and determination can lead an individual to a sense of self realization.
A Little Caution Is Advised
Although self-introspection via journaling is perfectly safe, I would advise that it is essential that we don’t try to change too much about us at once, as this could lead to a feeling of being overwhelmed which could contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety.
The most growth comes through suffering, but too much suffering causes us to stagnate. There is a fine line that must be tread between too much, and not enough. Nobody likes to suffer, but in reality we already are. We suffer when we can’t get what we want, and we suffer when we get what we want and turns out that we didn’t want it in the first place.
Life is full of suffering, we can’t avoid it, but we shouldn’t add to it. We human-beings overly complicate life. It doesn’t need to be that way.
Lets all start peeling back the layers of our onions and get to the real us, the divine within each of us. Break free of our self imposed limitations, rid ourselves of the programming of our ‘well meaning’ family and corporate and government programming.